


Dear Arthur...

by TheImpalaOfFandoms



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Bad English, I'm Bad At Tagging, Sex, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 02:24:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 33
Words: 5,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7340848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheImpalaOfFandoms/pseuds/TheImpalaOfFandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear Dollophead.<br/>I need someone to talk to, so I am writing this for you.<br/>Miss you.<br/>Merlin</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Four Months

Dear Dollophead   
I did not know what to do to work this out, I have no one to talk to. I just came back to Camelot, I have been gone for a long time. After you....died, I could not cope with myself so I started to walk. I walked and walked for days, days became weeks and I lost count. I did not eat for a long time. I just wanted to fill the emptiness somehow so I started walking to Ealdor to visit my mother. To help her. But when I came there I did not talk. She tried to make me eat but all food made me feel sick. I staied for two weeks before I decided to go home. But Arthur, it is not home without you.  
I came to Camelot, I met the people, and everyone looked at me. Maybe it was all in my head. I met Guise in the castle, he started to cry and hug me until I could not breath. He had been worried sick and I felt ashamed. I did not even give him a thought for a long time. He filled me in on everything that had happend sense that day. Gwaine is gone, tortured to death, died in Percivals arms, more or less. He had been so brave. He also left us to early. I am going to met up with Percy again later. My best friends are dead. But I hope Gwaine is bugging you, where ever you are.  
I met Gwen next. Arthur, you are going to be a father! Or you would have been if you were here. Gwen cried in my arms when she hugged me and I held her. She came to me later that night and talked about memories, and I laughed. I had forgotten how it felt, but we talked about the time you were a donkey and when your Father almost married a troll. We talked only about good times, about all the aventures we had. And in the end I was crying too. It was wonderfull to finally feel sorrow, it hurt like hell but it felt good to be with Gwen and just cry out. I know you think no man is worth my tears, but Arthur, you are. You are worth all the pain, all the tears in the world. I cried the night after that too, I let myself feel everything. I helt Percy as he cried about Gwaine. I never knew how strong their love really was. He told me he had waited on Gwaine before the battle, to kiss him, tell him about his love. He told me about their first and last kiss, how he cried when Gwaine fell in his hands, holding Gwaine in his arms. I died a little inside again. I know how he feels, I feel the same.   
I can not really sleep, but food is starting to taste like food again. Babysteps I guess. Just like this letter. A step in the right direction.   
I can not say it right now Arthur, even your name make my heart hurt and my stomach make knots.  
You stupid clotpole!   
Merlin


	2. Six Months

Dear Clotpole.  
It has been six months sense that day. It is still empty without you and your big bossy mouth. Gwen is getting bigger, the baby kicked the other day, I felt it. It was one of the most powerfull moments in my life. There is a life inside her. Growing!  
Gwen think it is two babies inside her just because how much the baby kicks. It is beautiful. She glows. But she miss you Arthur. She feels alone sometimes. I go to lay next to her at some nights, to keep her company on those lonely nights. We keep each other going.  
I help Guise more and more, and I am now Gwens right hand. She ask me about everything. And today, she asked what my thoughts on makeing Magic legal was. And I do not know. I am to tell her my thoughts in the morning before some big meeting. I wish you were here so I could talk to you about it, now when you know my secret. But then again, if you were here you would not know about it and I would not have to make a decision about it.  
I never told you about me because I wanted to keep you safe, Arthur, I hope you know that. Most days I wanted to tell you about my magic. Tell you how I felt. But I never did. It never felt like the right time. Looking back, it was a stupid reason, I should just have told you and then handled the consequences. Get bured at the stake or what ever.  
I do not know what you would have done. If I told you from the begining, you would have had me killed. But later in our friendship I think you would have... I do not know, exepted me? You were, are, my best friend. I trusted you with my life. I think you would have spared me. Said nothing to anyone.  
I do not know what to tell Gwen tomorrow. I want to tell her that she should make it legal, no one should go around in fear like I did. It means more danger but also more control. We could keep records with a list on every person with magic. I hope you do not hate me, but I think I am going to tell her to go with it. I do not want to live in fear.  
Although I have a feeling Gwen already knows. She have not told me anything. It is just a hunch from my side.  
I have to tell you, even if it is going to make me cry.  
I miss you, you bigheaded idiot! I miss you so much!  
Miss you.  
Merlin


	3. Seven months

Dear Dollophead.  
Seven months.  
Seven long months.  
Update from last time. I was actually with Gwen at the meeting, and all the meetings after that. She told me I am a vise man, like you once told me but I said I just read a lot of books. Good times.  
Anyway, they are still discussing it, most of the members are against it but more of them are changeing their minds. The Queen, Gwen, wants to bring in the Knights for the final vote. This made all the old men talk all at once. It was kind of fun actually. Like hens. ”Knights! It the court!” But it is decided, they will meet in two weeks with twelve of the best knights.   
I do not have much more to tell you.   
I still miss you.  
Merlin.


	4. Nine months

Dear Clotpole.  
Magic is now legal in Camelot. It is a big day for me. The people are due to get the information tomorrow. I can not tell you how happy I am right now. I told Gwen, ofcourse she already knew but got glad that I told her. But I told her everything tonight. About being a dragonlord and how many times I have saved your ass. She was amazed. I hope to tell you all about it one day. But I have to go now, Arthur, I have a lot to do. Gwen talks about letting me become her head socerer. Me. I am to fix all the paperwork. It will keep my head of how much I miss you. But I still do, Arthur, I still miss you so much.  
Merlin


	5. Nine months and a little more

Dear Dollophead.  
You are a father Arthur. Twins, Gwen was right. First it was a girl, dark hair and skyblue eyes. It is your eyes Arthur. I cry as I write this because I had forgotten about your eyes, I was trying not to think about it. But those eyes, your eyes...  
Next came a boy, a half hour later. He is the perfect combination between you and Gwen. Light brown hair, mocka skin and, he too has those blue eyes. They are perfect Arthur. And I promise to be at their side. Tell stories, only the good ones ofcourse, about you. I am going to protect them, Arthur! I am going to be there for them, teach them to be brave. I was never very good with the sword, I think their mother will teach them that. Mother, Gwen is a mother. And you are a father, Arthur. You would have been amazing, I just know it.   
I have to go and help with the babies.   
Miss you still.  
Merlin


	6. A Year

Dear Dollophead.  
One year. It has been one year. One year of pain. A year without you. They are having a party for you, to celebrate your life. It was going to be a sad day at first. People lightning candles and crying and stuff. Gwen put her foot down, she did not want it to be a sad day, it should be a day when we celebrate how you fought, how brave you were and so on. Maybe I just tell everyone that you were an idiot.   
I am not to speak, I helped Gwen with her speach. I am not going for more than listening and being there for her when she reads that. I am going to be with the children all night. Your children. I have not even told you what they are called. Isabella Ygraine Pentragon and William Arthur Pentragon.   
Ofcourse after your mother, and after you.  
It is getting late, I have to go.   
Miss you still   
Merlin

P.s  
It is later, people are telling beautiful stories about you, every Knight have something new to tell, even the most simple person has something nice to say about you. I left the party and ran here, I ran to the Crystal cave. I have already tried to get you back here, I know it do not work. But I miss you so much. It hurts Arthur. I am hurting so bad and I can not stop crying, please, make it stop. It hurts to much now.   
I am going to get myself togheter and go back to the castle, not with magic ofcourse. I am going to be with Isabelle and William, as I promised.  
I miss you more than ever  
Merlin   
D.s


	7. 14 months

Dear Dollophead.  
I love you  
and I miss you   
Merlin


	8. 15 months

Stop playing dead you moran! Just stop it! Come back, come back to me, to your children, to Camelot. Stop being dead! I want you to be here so I can tell you... I always looked up to you, even more when you show weakness. You became my best friend very fast. It felt like we known each other for ever, not just a few weeks. And I fell for you slowly, but so hard. And I want you to be here so I can kiss you and tell you that you are a clotpole and a stupid man and the bravest King in history. I want you to be here to watch your children grow up, be King again and tell me you feel the same way. I want you to be here so I can hit you for scaring me, clean your messy room and give you breakfast with a kiss on the side.   
Arthur, I love you.   
Come back to me. I can not cope with this anymore. I miss you so much, it hurts. My body is itching, hurting, screaming and my mind is sad and screams too. It screams for touch, for effection, for love, for you.   
Please, Arthur, PLEASE! COME BACK!   
I love you  
I love you  
Arthur  
I love you  
Come back


	9. 18 months

Dear Dollophead.  
I can not keep writing to you. I must, somehow, let you go. But how? I see your children everyday, every single day they remind me of you. And I promised to be here for them, so I can not leave Camelot. So I am not leaving, and I am going to keep writing. It helps. A little bit.  
Two nights ago I could not sleep. The nightmares were worse than usual. I often get some sleep. But lately I have not been able to sleep at all. I just lay in my bed, stare at the walls, the celing. Maybe I cry, maybe I do not.  
So I went to the Tavern, thinking that some alcohol may do the trick. Just so I could sleep!   
Drank I did. I drank and drank and drank. I drank so much I could not feel my legs. I drank to the point that the barkeeper tried to make me go home. I was feeling tired, but not enough so I drank a little bit more. I could not walk home after that last one. I was so drunk and sad. Percival came to get me, he carried me home to his room. He made me drink a lot of water. And then I cried, and I could not stop. It felt like it would never end. I cried and Percy held me. He held me until next morning when I was so tired and my body so exusted I passed out on his bed and slept for the whole day. When I woke up I felt like shit. Absolut Upper skit.  
Leon came to give me food and water. I do not understand how nice they are to me. Leon tried to talk to me a little. I did not respond much. In the end he told me that how ever bad I feel I can not leave home, leave Camelot.   
We will see.   
I just got to my own room. I hope to get some more sleep now so I can go and thank Percy and Leon in the morning, and visit the twins.   
I miss you, too much.  
Merlin


	10. 19 months

I slept with him, Arthur, but he was not you. NO feelings. BECAUSE IT WAS NOT YOU!!!! I HATE YOU! I hate you.  
I love you....  
Dear Dollophead.  
I was drunk again.   
Not as drunk this time, but still pretty drunk. Percy came to get me again, took me to my own room this time. Gauise was sleeping upstares with the twins because Gwen was worried about William not sleeping well. So we were alone. And I kissed him. He was just laying me down, being a gentleman, and I pulled his shirt and he stumbled over me. He was so heavy against my body and it was nice with contact. I kissed him. He kissed me back. Then he grabbed me tight, grinding against me as he kissed me. My body reacted, his body reacted and he was inside me. He made me feel good for a second. I closed my eyes. Thought about you as he trusted inside me. Then when it all washed over me, your name almost sliped out. But it did not. But Percy did not say my name as he spilled himself in me. He shouted on Gwaine. He collapsed on top of me and started to sob into my shoulder. He cried and asked for forgivness again and again. I rubed his back and told him everything was fine between us. Because it is. Nothing has changed. But a man that size should not be crying. It is a little scary for some reason. But no harm done right? Both yes and no. Percy went home, with a kiss on my cheek and an excuse on his lips. And I felt so empty again. Like dust, nothing. I felt like nothing. I did however sleep okay that night. The nightmares was light that night. But to night it was worse than ever. So I went up to write this. In my dreams I see you die over and over again. Often it is just like it happend. But tonight I was the one stabbing you and you asking me why. And again. And again. And again. And I am sorry, Arthur! But you are not here anymore! I can not keep being your servent when you are not here. I can not be faithful to something that never happend. I do not want to feel guilt and empty again. I can not keep going on like this.  
I miss you so much.   
I love you.  
Merlin


	11. 20 months

Dear Clotpole.  
It happend again, twice, this time I was the one that slipped. I wanted to feel SOMETHING sooo bad so I had sex with Percy again. It ended in tears before I even did anything. He rubbed my back and held me tight. We still did it. One time so slow and nice. And when we both came, no one said anything. This was a few days ago. Tonight, I was angry, so mad at myself for being so weak, for being so stupid to think that if you were here you would tell me you loved me back. I went to Percy and I was kind of happy because I felt anger. He understood. I got hard and told him a lot of dirty stuff. I asked him to do weird things to me, Arthur. He did. And when he came he did so with Gwaines name on his lips again. But it did not move me. He was down on me and sucking me so good. So when I came deep inside his troat I screamed out your name. And my heart skiped a beat. I said it out loud one more time and spilled again. I felt free. It was good Arthur. Until now. When I came home to my empty bed and I felt so trapped again.  
I miss you  
And I do love you


	12. 22 months

Twins birtday. A Giant party for the twins first birtday. They will not even remember it. Gwen will, but really what is the point. The babies will go to sleep before the party is over anyway.  
Anyway, I have promised to have a little speach about them and then Gwen wants me to mention you. I will do it if I can do it without getting angry or sad or start crying. Do not think I will. But I will do my best Arthur. For you.   
The speach will be amazing. That is it. It is going to be perfect! I will put my speach in this letter aswell. So you can read it. I hope I will make you proud with it.  
I love you.  
Merlin  
Speach:  
People of Camelot. We are here to celebrate Isabella and Williams first birthday. One year flied by so fast. They grow so much each day and ofcourse I believe that one day they will be great leaders over this Kingdom. I see so mich of our Queen in Them. They have her Beauty and nyfikenhet, their fathers stubburmess and kindness.  
This is what I see now, after only a year.   
I believe in Them as much as i believed in our king.   
Long love the King, long live the Queen and long live the twins!


	13. 24 months

Your party. Your anniversary of death. It is a bad day for me. I feel like horse crap. I just can not do this Arthur. Every year. What if this is what it feels like, every year as long as I live... no... I can not do that. I can not. I am coming Arthur. You see me soon. Very soon.  
Love   
Merlin

 

I will not see you today. I am in the cells. I have cuffs on. Kinky. You know, if it was not for the fact that those are to keep me from killing myself. I got a pen and this piece of paper, that is it. I could stab myself with the pen, but that would heal to fast for me to die of it.  
Percy locked me in here. Damn him for finding me.   
I guess you are disapointed at me now. And Gwaine, Lance and Freya and my father too.... but you guys are not here!   
But I am still here. WITHOUT YOU ALL!   
You have no right to judge me, you are all dead. You left me here to suffer. I do not want to feel pain anymore and I do not want to feel this numbness either. I did my best. I TRIED TO SAVE YOU! I DID MY BEST! But you died. I wish I was worth being happy, but maybe I am not. Because I failed you. I tried my best but it was not good enough. I just want to meet you all and tell you I am sorry. I am sorry. So sorry. I miss you, I do not see the point in living when you are not here.   
I feel so alone. I am scared and I am tired. I tried my cery best, I promise.   
I am sorry.   
I miss you.   
I love you.  
I am so, so sorry.  
Merlin


	14. 25 months

Dear Clotpole.  
It is getting better again. A lot better actually. After my Little trip to the cells Percy decided to stay with me for a week. It helped a lot. He is just a friend, but we are becoming closer friends every day. It is that kind of friendship that needs building. Not like ours Arthur. After a few weeks I felt like I had known you for ever. But it is okay. It feels good to show total weakness for someone. Gauise is a little slow and is getting old so I do not want to bother him. We told him I got to drunk, that was why I came home in the morning. Percy did not tell a soul about me trying to end it. It feel good. No one ever have to know about that.  
I am doing good again.  
The twins are growing up so fast. Still healty and adorable.  
The other day, Isabella tried to take one of Williams bread Pieces. But William got angry and hit his Sister. She started crying, but before loseing it, William have her the bread and pet Isabellas head. So cute!   
Miss you.  
Love


	15. 28 months

Dear Clotpole.  
I was outside picking herbs when she came to me, I felt her presents. You do not know this but I saved the dragonegg. You know what I am talking about. I am the last dragonlord and she is the last dragon. I had to save the egg. I hope you understand that.  
She is sick. I stayed in the forest to help her heal. But I knew I could not stay there for ever and she is to big to live with me. She can not talk, but I can feel her feelings inside me. She is lonely. I go out there every day to heal her with my powers, it is painful for her. Her bones are in the wrong order and she is only skin and bones. I did not know who to tell about this. So I tell you. But I fear I need to talk to Gwen as well. I keep taking food from the kitchen, it is not okay. I need to ask this time. But I am going to save her, Arthur, she is going to be okay. If I just save her, it will all be better.   
I have looked in all of Gaiuses old books and the only thing I can think of is if I make her smaller. I am going to ask her about it. Make her the size of a dog or a cat and maybe she can stay here with me.  
I am going to talk with Gwen right away, ask her about what she thinks.  
I will be back   
Merlin

 

She said yes. Today is a good day Arthur. I just have to talk to Aithusa, the dragon, too. But I think this will work, I will save my power up for a few weeks before I try the big spell, going to heal her first and then make her small like a pet. Wish me luck, my love.  
Miss you  
Merlin


	16. 30 months

Dear Clotpole   
It worked! It worked. Aithusa is the size of a big dog. She is glowing, healthy, she is so beautiful. She is no longer in pain, she gets scrabs food from the kitchen and she can still fly. She get missions sometimes, from Knights and from Gwen. But most times she guard the twins. She is happy. She can talk telepathic with me now. She is still working on it but she told me she was happy.  
Arthur, I think I am happy too. It was such a long time sense I felt anything like this. I believe it to be joy.  
I have to go, just wanted to give you a quick update.  
Miss you, just a little less painfully now.  
I love you.  
Merlin


	17. 31 months

Dear Clotpole.  
Gauise is sick, very sick. I fear he has not long in this world left. He says it is okay, that he has lived his life already. I tried to heal him with magic, but he is sick because of age, and I can not stop him from ageing, I wish I could. He told me to tell you he always saw you as an extra son and the bravest man in Camelot.   
He misses you, just like I do. He says he is going to se you soon.   
He is like a father to me, Arthur, I do not want to loose him yet, I still need him.  
Love  
Merlin


	18. 34 months

He died this afternoon. Aithusa tries to chear me up but all I feel is that stupid numbness again.   
Miss you more than ever. Wish you were here.  
Love   
Merlin


	19. 35 months

I am alone now. All alone. Percy is watching over me, checking in on me ev ery five minutes. So I do not try anything stupid again. But I will not. It is not going to change anything. Gwen is worried. We became the best of friends when you...you know.  
And now I can not look at her. Even Percy is getting painful to look at, he reminds me of Gwaine. Leon reminds me of Morgana, my room reminds me of Gaius and everything in this Kingdom reminds me of you. I have to stay, stay for the twins. And I need to get strong Arthur. I need to get stronger for Gwen. She deserves that.   
I am trying my best Arthur, I hope you know that, but it hurts so much. So much.  
I wish you were here to tell me no one is worth my tears, call me stupid and try to make me laugh. I miss you so much.  
I love you.  
Merlin


	20. 3 years

Dear Arthur.  
Life goes on, not easely but it does. It is all just so fresh in my mind.  
And this every-year-reminder does not make it better at all. I am glad we are celebrating your life, but it is a constant reminder of the day you died, when you laid here in my arms as you took your last breath. I have to tell you, I may have overthinked this but that ”thank you” meant a lot to me, because I think what you meant to say was more powerfull and more meaningfull. But I got you.  
I love you too.  
Merlin


	21. 5 years

Dear Arthur.

Five years has passed, yearly reminder once again. But I will not talk about you today, but the fact that your children are just so perfect. Isabella makes some huffs here and there, it is amazing how creative she is, even though most people do not agree about it being cute. They team up sometimes, she and William, and then it is really fun. The make the new knights look dumb by playing simple tricks on them and messing with people they do not like in the castle. But they are also kind and helpful. They are so small but their hearts are so big. They play with everyone and talks to anyone. I know they are just children but they do not care if the person they are playing with is of royal blood or not. I hope they stay this way. You would have loved them, Arthur, they are amazing.

Love  
Merlin


	22. 10 years

Dear Arthur.

My mother passed away. As you may understand, I can not talk about it. Not yet.

Merlin


	23. Still 10 years

Greetings to you your highness.

I think I am the highness now if you know what I mean. No? Well let me tell you a story about how I found this new herb from the bar. The lady behind the bar is new. I do not remember her name, just that I drank this tea and went home with her. I woke up with her naked on my arm. A girl, Arthur, a girl. That was not Freya. Beautiful Freya. I loved her too Arthur. And she too died in my arms, just like you. Is not that a fun story. I remember getting out of there and into the colourful woods after a mug of that great tea she got me, I took a bag with me of that.   
I woke up in my bed now, Percy found me with a tree in my arms, sleeping. As the good man he is he just took me to my chembers and did not tell anyone.  
But Arthur. This is not the first time this happens. It is the sixth time in a very short timeperiod. The worse part is that I am not ashamed.  
It feels so good to loose myself in a mixture of laying with meaningless people and herbs or drinking that great tea. It is just a way for me to stop myself from feeling hurt and numb again. It is not working very good, but enough. It is bad Arthur. I have to stop. It is not easy though, I want to die. It just hurts so much. It hurts so much knowing that, this is how it is going to be. Forever. I will outlive everyone I care about. It all started with Freya and you!   
You are suppose to be here, bossing me around and calling me names.   
Without you here I have little to fight for.

Hold me....

I miss you so much you utterly stupid royal clotpole.

Merlin


	24. 12 years

Dear Arthur.  
I am okay. I am doing better every day. Life still pretty bad, but it is okay.  
Nothing new to tell you exept that, but that is pretty huge to me. Nothing for so long and I am talking about my feelings with Gwen and Percy, I am okay.  
I love you  
Merlin


	25. 22 years

Dear Clotpole.  
You old man, you are a grandfather. William and Princess Alicia got a little daughter. Ygraine. They named her after your mother, Arthur.   
Not to worry, Isabella married prince Cenders, she too are expecting a child pretty soon.   
It is not long before Gwen give the throne to William and Alicia, she thinks it is for the best. So much happening right now Arthur, I wish you were here to see it all.  
Miss you  
Merlin.


	26. 37 years

Dear Arthur.  
I know you just got company as Gwen died just a moment ago. I can not, for my life, stop crying. I just lost an other one in battle, Percy died, last week.  
I miss you so much and now I am so lonely.  
Say hi to Percival and Guienvere from me.  
Love  
Merlin


	27. 50 years

50 years... 50 YEARS!

It is so long without you, Arthur, but it feels like just a year ago you hit me on the shoulder and called me a coward. Or smiled your ugly beautiful smile at me. Everyone I loved before are gone. The Pendragons still sit on the throne, do not worry about that. But me, Merlin, I am leaving this place. I'm just going to help Maximillian, Ygraine and Alicia for a couple more years, with the new baby, and then I am gone. I mean Gwen is dead, Percy is dead, William is long gone with my mother and everyone else.  
I watched your child grow old and die, I watched them all grow old and die, while I stayed the same.   
I do not know where I will go, but I will find something, just waiting for you to rise again.  
I love you  
Merlin


	28. 61 years

Dear Arthur.  
Isabella died today, and this is it. I have watched everyone I care about and love, die. I am going to travel where ever I can now. I know Alice will understand. I do not know where I will go but I can not stay here. Aithusa is going with me, for as long as she can and we are going to find things to do, explore the world.   
Lets see what I can do.  
Love you  
Merlin


	29. Year 606

Dear Arthur.

It started with a rock. I dropped said rock on my foot, it hurt like hell. I jumped around on one leg yelling bad words. Then I tripped over a small three and in the hands of a rubbust woman. A very cute, rubbust woman. She is a druid, they call her Krusilda, I just call her Lia. She is not like the others, she wants to explore the world. After loosing her sister and brother under Uthers hand when she was little she tried to fit in but never did. She had only friend, who died in the same war you did. So she has nothing left. But she is like me, she has not aged. She has to be someone really powerful and special, but no one noticed. We are going togheter for a bit, I found her very fun. I told her about you. And she liked you, a lot.   
It feels good with company.

Love you always  
Merlin


	30. 669

Dear Arthur.

I lost a girl. How do you loose. A. Girl?  
Well, I did. So now we are on our own again. Just me and my dragon. I miss Lia so much.  
I am going to get drunk and... keep going.  
We had some good times! We seen so much already.  
Anyway...

Love   
Merlin


	31. 748

Dear Dollophead.

I burned down a barn. I burned down. A barn. When I was having some fun with a man I met at the market in this little town I am just passing by. Yes. My clumsy ass, literally, was too hot for the hay. To be fair it was an old barn called the ”hump-barn”. It was very broken and small. It has only been used for sex for like a hundred years, but the people was kind of mad because they do no longer have anywhere to hump the humps. So I had to leave without saying goodbye to the very handsome person... J...something. Whatever. It cost me my horse so now I am back walking side by side with Aithusa. 

Love   
Merlin.


	32. Still 748

John...his name was John... I think...


	33. 800

Dear Dollophead.

I am on a ship, going somewhere, I do not know where. My light of the sun is in the forest, staying safe for now, I will call her when I get to a new place. The wise old dragon said that no dragons birth is without meaning and I hope this is hers, to travel the world, keep me company until I have done what I need. I have lived for over a hundred years, it must have a meaning, or so I hope.  
Time to swabb some decks. 

Love you always  
Merlin.


End file.
